Negative, Negative

When people learn you are pregnant, how do they react? I'm going beyond the "Oh, congratulations" and all the questions that come from it. I'm looking more for the "Oh, your life is going to change so much," scenarios. I remember when one customer learned I was engaged she told me not to do it. Can we say bitter divorcee? Everybody who has ever had children keep telling me that my life is going to change and will never be the same. Can we say, "DUH!?" Okay, fine, state the obvious. What annoys me, though, is when they start mentioning how horrible/frustrating/whatever childrearing is. Even my own grandmother says something along the lines of "Isn't motherhood grand" whenever I mention being sick. Now, things could be worse - I could have every horrible pregnancy symptom, or be one of those people who goes through hoops just trying to have children, so believe me, I'm counting my blessings. But when I hear comments about not having any private time, losing sleep, future schooling, terrible twos, threes, teens, whatever, I wonder if people think that DH and I just decided one day, "Hey, we're bored, let's have sex and see what happens." I mean, we've been married for five happy years, we've paid off our debts, despite our decorating style we are not children, we both work, and we're both college graduates (DH is working on his masters and I have an education certificate), so I'm pretty sure we knew what we were getting ourselves into. Yes, there will be sleepless nights, poopy diapers, 16+ years of homework, early morning practices, slumber parties, misbehaviors, and times when we'll want to strangle the child and the child will wish us dead (unless of course s/he's the perfect little angel DH and I were). But then there's the flip side of it all.

One coworker stopped to talk to me one day and mentioned things like the first time the baby grabs your finger (my heart melts when other people's children do that), the first time the baby says, "Mama" or "Dada", the first time baby walks, the first time your child tells you s/he loves you. I found this attitude to be wonderfully refreshing. Finally, another person who understands the joys, not just the tribulations, of parenthood. With a good upbringing, God willing, our child will bring a lifetime of joy and happiness to our lives, whether it's as simple as a smile or as hard earned as receiving an acceptance letter to Harvard.

Yes, I know our lives will change forever. We'll probably go into debt again unless we're extremely careful, we'll be busy non-stop, and plans will change last minute because the child is ill. But, again God willing, these are not everyday occurrences, and the good times will outweigh the bad...even when teenager comes home with a mohawk/nose ring/tattoo causing him/her to be expelled. There could be worse things in life.